Advertisements

Tag Archives: Weddings

A Realistic Wedding Announcement | Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby

Hey Sweetheart We Get Rewrites

A Realistic Wedding Announcement

Posted by justingawel on June 28, 2013

The text on yellow says "Speed bump"

Dr. Henry Walker, a disgraced former pharmacist, is to be married to the apparent fourth love of his life, Jessica McMillan, on September 7th of this year in a private ceremony that several of his family members are protesting. Like any couple, they’ve had their speed bumps down the road of love; between Walker’s distaste for face tattoos, McMillan’s struggles with passing the GED, and, of course, Walker’s now-ex-wife, Tracy.

It wasn’t the easiest storm to weather, but with indifferent affection as one’s sail Walker and McMillan endured the rough seas and whipping winds of divorce court, losing one’s license to practice medicine, and being forced out of several homes. People may call it chance, others might think of it as fate, and even some would call it God’s work.

It all began that momentous Wednesday evening in December of 2012 when passions coincided, the universe stood still, and romance took the wheel. While closing up the hospital pharmacy, Walker was dreading sitting through another one of his eight-year-old son’s karate lessons since Tracy’s incessant nagging would be forcefully penetrating his unconsenting ears the entire time.

Oxycodone

Like all of his nights, he realized it would be another blur of complaining and gin that would predictably end with him miraculously becoming even more physically unattracted to the overly ample, pendulous flesh of his then wife. Meanwhile, at the hospital’s coffee shop, McMillan was stuck on a four-syllable word in an Us Weekly article while pondering how she could get Oxycodone for the night now that her ex-boyfriend-turned-drug-dealer or was it the other way around was in custody.

From Day One, she was always the brash, outspoken one of the couple. Just before closing up she approached the pharmacy counter and asked him out on a date. A date to his car. A date to his car where they would wriggle parts of each other’s bodies into other parts of each other’s bodies resulting in physical gratification, and in her receiving the sum of four Oxycodone pills. Walker couldn’t say no to those big, blue bloodshot eyes. He was melting right there, but likely just from desperation to orgasm into something that wasn’t his hairy knuckles, his frumpy wife, or his old, “repurposed” baseball socks for the first time in a blue moon.

Oxycodone varieties

And so this fairy-tale has continued for the last seven months; a relationship based on a pure exchange of sexual favors for pills lined with the threat of blackmail—truly the strongest known foundation—has blossomed into the two arranging to be wed in holy matrimony.

much more at A Realistic Wedding Announcement | Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby.

Advertisements
Diary of an Aesthete

A Spiritual and Artistic Pilgrimage Around the Globe

Chinese Numbers

Chinese, language, learn, speak, write, textbook, contract, beginner, advanced, intermediate, commercial, marketing, correspondence, characters, radicals, decomposition, business, numbers, numerals, contract

The Earth of Brain

Chinese, language, learn, speak, write, textbook, contract, beginner, advanced, intermediate, commercial, marketing, correspondence, characters, radicals, decomposition, business, numbers, numerals

Le Blog BlookUp

Imprimez et transformez vos contenus digitaux, blogs et réseaux sociaux, en magnifiques livres papier sur blookup.com

annotated audrey art

TUCSON ARTIST AND ILLUSTRATOR

Iridescentfox

There are no foxes here

Tamara Philip, Author

Where Love blossoms...

Adventures of an author's wife

Editor and publicist for my author wife Michelle McMurrie. Michelle is transgender and wrote her current books under her previous name of Michael Pugh.

Nostalgia Pie

Comfort food for the soul from a time when things were so much simpler...

Chris Brake Show Podcast

LIVE! Every Wednesday @ 8pm Eastern / 7pm Central on StrangeLabel.com

Mindy Ogg

Dreams and wishes are meant to come true.

WorldofHarley

Fun for the whole asylum!

Psych Circus

Enjoy, Learn, and Erase Stigma!

lorellepage

Reader-to-Writer

Globe Drifting

Global issues, travel, photography & fashion. Drifting across the globe; the world is my oyster, my oyster through a lens.

The Honking Goose

something to honk about

Blinginitwholesale produces wholesale rhinestone apparel and hot fix crystals

Customized bling shirts and rhinestone heat transfers

tylersculinary

Tylers culinary blog

The Chalk Outline

the blog home of mystery writer Jeff Markowitz

KURT★BRINDLEY

writing ★ producing ★ editing

Mik Mob's Music Mass

share YOUR favourite tunes with The Mob

Riley Amos Westbook

A fantasy Author with too much free time on his hands that likes to Support Indie Authors.

terry73's Blog

A fine WordPress.com site

To Boldly Go

My mission to seek the Lord and to boldly go where He leads me

pgcps mess - Reform Sasscer without delay.

Fight corruption in PGCPS. Innovate, Change and Transform - Create Transparency and Accountability Initiative.

12 Week Weight Loss Course

Losing Weight & Looking Great!

On The Heath

where would-be writer works with words

Amanda Dyer

Founder & Creative Director at Maison by Amanda Dyer & Editor-in-Chief, Living 360 Magazine & Mompreneur 360 Magazine

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

Journal Edge

An online blog with highly informative, cheerful and inspirational articles for people who love travel to India with passion and make a different Lifestyle. Vikas Acharya is the founder and managing editor at Journal Edge Online Blog. Contact me to find out how I can help you create high-quality blog content, lead magnets, ebooks, and web copy for your business.

Art Attack

Discovering art in everything

What's Good?

Around the globe..

The Digital Inkwell

If poetry be the food for love, pen on.

Harga Timbangan

Dunia Timbangan,081280780615,081291999252,0216016259,Harga Timbangan,Harga Timbangan Duduk,Harga Timbangan Digital,Harga Timbangan Analitik,Harga Timbangan Manual,Harga Timbangan Gantung,Harga Timbangan Duduk Digital,Harga Timbangan Duduk Manual,Harga Timbangan Lantai,Harga Timbangan Mekanik,Harga Timbangan Gantung Manual,Harga Timbangan Gantung Jarum,Harga Timbangan Buah Digital,Harga Timbangan Neraca Analitik,Harga Timbangan Elektrik,Harga Timbangan Digital Gram,Harga Timbangan Gram,Timbangan Duduk,Timbnagan Manual,Timbangan Duduk Manual,Timbangan Analitik,Timbangan Laundry,Timbangan Mekanik,Timbangan Salter,Timbangan Nagata,Timbangan Cahaya Adil,Timbangan Quattro,Timbangan Sapi,Timbangan Ternak,Timbangan Adam,Analitycal Balnce,Moisture Balance,Timbangan Sn Timah,Timbangan Oc Timah,Timbangan Chq,Timbangan Matrix,Timbangan Acis,Timbangan Lantai,Timbangan Gantung,Timbangan Gantung Jarum,Timbangan Gantung Manual,Jual Timbangan,Timbangan Barang Digital,Timbangan Pemancingan,Timbangan Galatama,Timbangan Obat,Timbangan Neraca Analitik,Timbangan Lantai Digital,Timbangan Camry,Harga Timbangan Laundry,Harga Timbangan Beras,Harga Bandul Timbangan,Anak Timbangan,Batu Timbangan,Timbangan Daging,Timbangan Buah,Timbangan Sayur,Timbangan Barang,Timbangan Balance,Timbangan Floor Scale,Timbangan Counting,Timbangan Anti Air,Timbangan Water Proof,Timbangan Jarum,Timbangan Duduk Jarum

Beautiful Life with Cancer

Discovering the Gift

Strictly for the Birds

The portable world of Anna L. S. Miranda

d|gI+Al hEGeM0n ...d|g|Z|nE

Works of Thought... And Pictures of My Soul

Setsu Uzume

Speculative Fiction

Jobsdhamaka Blog

Job Interview Tips and Career Advices

LOVE AND OLIVES

Just a regular thirty-something-year-old trying to capture the essence of life in writing. Join me as I journey through the ups, the downs and the adventures in between.

Predictable in Her Unpredictability

Doing What Makes My Soul Shine