“A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper.” – E.B. White
via Christian’s Blog.
May 15th, 2013. 2:30 PM. Los Andes, Chile.
I sat down in the teacher’s lounge for my usual coffee and mid-afternoon break. For some reason, the basic cable TV had been flipped on— the first time I’d seen it turned on all year. It had on a Chilean reality show known as Mundos Opuestos 2. I’d never seen any Chilean reality TV, so it seemed like a good time to watch a bit of the show. This first thing that I noticed was the strangely derivative Real World meets Survivor format— there were two teams full of 20 to early 30 somethings, living together and competing to win a physical challenge each week. The second thing I noticed was the voice of a cast member with an extremely gringo accent. I turned to the janitor sitting next to me, “Who the hell is that? He’s a gringo, right!”
“Yes!” He told me. “Rieeeeeechard!” He laughed to himself. ”He’s a comedian from the US! They said he was on a show about geeks there, so they decided to bring him over to be a member of Mundos Opuestos.”
NOTE: This post is a departure in that it has nothing to do with my excursions in Chile.
I don’t know why…but I have a strange fascination with audacious rap lyrics. How many ways can someone describe an ass? Rappers have found thousands and thousands, and many of them quite artfully awesome! If you can appreciate over the top rap, then you have a good appreciation for language. I know it’s been over 3 years, but let’s just take a second to review some of the lyrics of Young Money’s song, “Bed Rock.” Like most Lil Wayne/Nicki Minaj/Young Money music, it’s chock full of sexual innuendo (this is actually tame by their standards):
“My room is the g-spot,
call me Mister Flintstone,
I can make your bed rock.”
“I’m attracted to her
for her attractive ass.”
“Okay I get it, let me think, I guess it’s my turn.
Maybe it’s time to put this pussy on your sideburns.”
TO SIGN UP FOR TERRY IRVING’S MAILING LIST
(AND BE ELIGIBLE FOR A FREE SIGNED COPY OF MY DEBUT NOVEL “COURIER”)
- Lil Kim Fires Shots at Lil Wayne (celebnmusic247.com)
- Nicki Minaj Adds Fuel to Rumors Drake is Leaving Young Money Label (atlantablackstar.com)
- Lil Wayne – Revolver (MDNA Video) (freshwaddabrooks.com)
- Nicki Minaj hit with lawsuit over ‘Starships’ (rollingout.com)
- Lil’ Kim Claps Back At Lil Wayne Over Dedication 5 Mixtape Slander (hiphopwired.com)
The question is… are you reading?
C.B. McCullough lives in the northeastern United States with his beautiful wife, Vanessa, and a small menagerie of pets. The Fallen Odyssey is his first book. He does most of his writing in a little house in the woods.
C.B.’s resume also includes online sales writing, ghostwriting family history/memoirs, and digging up artifacts as an archaeological technician.
Fools rush in, where devils fear to tread…
Night lasts for days on planet Jannix, and in a city full of murderers, thugs, gangsters and con artists, no man ever can be sure he’ll see another dawn. So when private investigator Jack Tarelli is called to the home of an enigmatic billionaire just hours after an unspeakable murder, he knows a long, long night has only just begun.
Led on a chase into the shadowy underbelly of a city that never wakes, the hard-nosed and uncompromising Jack will stop at nothing to track down a deadly killer whose motives are shrouded in corruption, betrayal and deceit. But as connections to Jack’s own dark and mysterious past arise, it becomes clear that this is more than a search for the truth; it’s a race against time.
Drawing on the classic Noir style, this Science-Fiction/Mystery novella will leave you breathless and begging for more.
When seventeen-year-old Justin Holmes wakes from a strange, amnesic slumber, he finds himself in an unknown land, far from his rural Pennsylvania hometown. With no memory of how he came to be in this world of vast grasslands, sky-scraping mountains and double moons, he can but cling for dear life to his only allies: an illusive old hermit, and a cold-blooded, duplicitous mercenary.
When unwillingly recruited to help rescue a kidnapped princess, Justin is whisked off into the wild on an otherworldly adventure, all while struggling to learn what twist of fate has landed him in this strange, alternate dimension. He can only hope that within the wilderness of this fantasy world can be found some clue that will lead him home. Trapped in this medieval realm of prehistoric animals and powerful warriors, Justin must uncover his destiny on his trek down The Path Less Traveled…
When you think Fantasy Fiction, certain elements automatically come to mind– three of which, you can almost bet on:
Most fantasy worlds– excluding Contemporary/Urban Fantasy– come devoid of any means of modern amenities. ”No phone, no lights, no motor car.” So how do people get around in fantasy fiction? A horse, of course, of course.
Well, not so in The Fallen Odyssey. When I started writing these stories, I decided it would be kind of a neat challenge to rebel against the convention of using horses. What if, in this world, the horse never existed, and humans instead relied on some other breed of animal for transportation? (I sense a disturbance in the Force… As if a million horse-lovers suddenly cried out in terror…)
The result of my experiment was the steed.
Standing nearby were three ranch animals… They had umber-brown, muscular bodies, similar in size and shape to a horse– standing tall enough to look Justin eye-to-eye. Like horses, they had short hair, hooves, and wiry tails, but their long faces had the pronounced brow ridge of a camel, and their snouts were elephant-like trunks that hung halfway to the ground. To Justin, they looked like the kind of bizarre, extinct species you might see painted on the wall at a natural history museum; an ice-age, mammalian precursor to modern life. He stared at the odd creatures, watching their trunks pull up clumps of grass and place it in their awaiting mouths. All three had saddles on their backs.
Justin approached… but he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. The thing seemed to be watching him, and despite its docile manner, he was suddenly wondering what kind of teeth were under that trunk.
– from The Fallen Odyssey by C.B. McCullough
This creature is referred to only by the simple moniker, steed. Steeds play a key role in our story from here on out, and while they are very similar to horses in implementation, we find out that their hardiness makes them suitable for all sorts of conditions.
It is for good reason that Justin compares them to museum exhibits, as the steed is based on an actual species that existed on Earth, long ago…
The Macrauchenia (Macrauchenia patachonica)
Macraucheniidae was a family of ungulates of the Litopterna order. This animal would have looked, to our eyes, like a combination horse-llama-camel, with a goofy little trunk-like appendage hanging from its snout. Macrauchenia went extinct 10-20,000 years ago, during the late Pleistocene, along with many other unique and strange looking mammals.
While Macrauchenia was the basis for steeds in the world of The Fallen Odyssey, the steed does not adhere to the scientifically-accurate Macrauchenia, nor is it meant to. For one thing, Macrauchenia was larger than a horse– almost ten feet long, and about a thousand pounds heavier. And for another matter, steeds have long, opposable trunks, more like an elephant.
I’ve found the development of new and interesting animals to be one of my favorite parts of world-building. It’s fun to imagine what human culture would be like, had one little thing happened differently– like the horse. It’s not that farfetched to imagine– if the horse never existed– cowboys riding across the American west on the backs of camels.
Stay creative, friends! Write long, and prosper. – CB
My personal fashion secret is that I wear one expensive item (a coat or a purse) and keep the cost basis for the entire rest of my outfit to under $50 bucks. My logic is that the one nice item will raise the profile of the cheap items just by association
- Have you been to Payless Lately? (rgonzalez91.wordpress.com)
- Payless Shoes ~ Get 20% when you subscribe to text updates (sharethesavings2011.wordpress.com)
- You’re Sleeping on Payless! (fashionunder20.wordpress.com)