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Tag Archives: humor

A Bit of A Rant – But It Is Only the Tip of the Iceberg | Welcome to a new friend: LouAnn

On the Homefront

Reflections on life: the funny, poignant, serious and quirky

About LouAnn

Lake Erie in the winter

Lake Erie in the winter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have lived in the charming town of Kingsville, Ontario on Lake Erie for…a long time.  I am a freelance writer for the newspaper that I once worked for as a full-time reporter/photographer/columnist. Today I am a columnist and municipal reporter, magazine writer, poet of little merit, songwriter of sorts, and aspiring writer of books.  Still working out the timing of my stand up comedy routine, I am destined to serve it up on the page and not the stage.  Some of the things you will read in this blog are from my weekly newspaper column but I promise never to include any of my articles about town council. Though absolutely fascinating and good fodder for the bottom of birdcages, the less said about sewers and drains and riled up residents the better.

I have been married to my husband John for 31 years and we have two wonderful, smart and handsome sons, Adam, 27 and Tyler, 22.  Adam is a rock god (soon to be a world renowned lead guitarist) and basketball aficionado and Tyler is my computer savvy clever (about to set the world on fire) college student.  Over the years they have appeared in my columns so often that they no longer read them—so that when they meet someone “on the street” who has read about them, they feign ignorance.  Oh yeah, and we have a cat called Kitty Bob who sometimes gets a column or two devoted to him. I mention the cat as he is a much beloved family member, who would be missed more than I, if he took a train to Austin and did not come back.

I began my writing “career” at the tender age of 10. My first story was a composition for a grade five literature exam and my teacher liked it (she really liked it!).  Later, I was encouraged (and embarrassed) by a number of high school teachers who chose my essays to be read aloud in class.  If you remember high school, being “centred out” was not necessarily a good thing.  But in this case it was.  Writing, then, as now, is a way of getting my lonely voice in the wilderness heard.  I “honed” my craft a little more at university, where I was taught by hippies, poets, (it was the 70’s) and strict grammarians.  Some of it stuck; some of it didn’t.

A note or two (or three) about this blog:

On The Homefront – is home to my weekly newspaper column and topics of “general interest”

Off The Cuff – is about writing in its many forms

Organizing -101 – is about my eternal (and at times, humourous) quest to become “organized” with some help from the pros

via A Bit of A Rant – But It Is Only the Tip of the Iceberg | On the Homefront.

A Bit of A Rant – But It Is Only the Tip of the Iceberg

Equality

Equality (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

                I just finished reading a blog post about weakness. And in that post, weakness was personified as feminine. I could not get past the fact that terms used to describe weakness—not the least being “he cried like a little girl” are offensive and merely lend credence to the fact that we are not as far in this journey of equality as I thought. The post was probably a good one, but I could not get beyond the way that feminine traits are looked upon as weak.

                I admire a man who cries—he is not weak—in fact he is usually so strong in his convictions, in his compassion, in his beliefs—that this outlet is far from being weak. And when a woman cries—it is because that is how she becomes brave—that is how she gets over things—that is how she temporarily expresses her anger, frustration, and sometimes, compassion for others.

                Whenever I see tears well up in my husband’s eyes, I know that he has been touched deeply by things—and to be touched deeply is not for cowards. It is a deep disservice to men (I am the mother of two boys) to have their feelings taken away from them. To disrespect someone, to mock someone, to make fun of someone for being “soft” is outrageous.

                I do not mean soft in not having strength of conviction, in being spineless, or lax and pathetic. I mean soft as being flexible, sympathetic, gentle, sensitive, and soft-hearted.

                Men and women need to give men permission to feel and to express their feelings in ways that do not entail punching a hole in a wall, spouting angry words, or making fun of perceived weaknesses.

                As a woman, I cry. And I always feel I have to apologize for crying. Yet it is a real expression of real emotions, real feelings. And I should not have to apologize. Nor should you have to apologize to me for crying.

                Equality has a myriad of faces. That there is even the question whether or not men and women are equal angers me. Men should not feel the burdens they do; women should not apologize for their independence. It is so basic and so ingrained in me that I cannot see the other side of this issue. As far as I am concerned there is no valid argument for inequality. And once everyone agrees that men and women are irrevocably, conclusively, forever equal — men will not be made fun of for expressing their emotions; and woman will not be looked upon as weak.

Friday morning

Trying to Capture a Brocken Spectre and "...

(Photo credit: UGArdener)

Mellow morning sun

Hidden by fog strewn landscape

Faint rays penetrate

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What Do You Look for in a Humorous Villain? |Catching up with Legends of Windemere

Legends of Windemere

Now, we’ve seen villains with a sense of humor in comics (Joker), cartoons (Hades), and comedies (Dark Helmet).  You can obviously have a villain with a sense of humor that is goofy, sarcastic, or twisted.  They can still be effective too depending on the genre.  Not all comedic villains are bumbling idiots that would fail even if the heroes hadn’t gotten involved.  I always got that sense that He-Man didn’t really have to work hard to thwart Skeletor at times.  Don’t even get me started on Cobra Commander in the cartoon.

Effectiveness is a major challenge if you’re writing a villain that is funny.  Looking that three examples, you can see what some of the choices are:

  1. Dark Helmet–  From Spaceballs, Dark Helmet is powerful, but he’s rather accident prone and a goof.  You lose a lot of effectiveness with him because funny stuff happens to him without his intent.  This works in a comedy, but outside of a comedy, it makes for a weak main villain.  A secondary villain could get away with it, but the main villain does need have some semblance of control.
  2. Hades–  Cunning and in control of the situation, this type of villain is like an evil Grouch Marx.  Many times this is the egotistical planner that is manipulating everyone around him or her.  The humor comes from his wit and sarcasm, which is difficult to write.  Not everyone has this ability, so you really need to get feedback on this kind of villain or watch sarcastic comments.  This type of humor can improve the character’s effectiveness because it is a sign of intelligence.
  3. Joker– While Joker can be a catch-all at times, he is a twisted humor character.  Victims with his smile, crazy traps, wild laugh, and murderous plots that you laugh at for some bizarre reason.  It’s a delicate balance between crazy and effective here.  Go too far and you have a raving psychotic that is merely disturbing.  Don’t go far enough and you have a mildly humorous villain that seems to be phoning it in.

Personally, I like humorous villains that are effective.  The goofy villain is great in comedies, but only comedies for me.  A series story should have a seriously dangerous villain, but you can give them a sense of humor.  Most people have that in some form and villains are people too.  Unless they’re robots, aliens, animals, ghosts, zombies, possessed farm equipment, haunted house, lawyers, shparkly vampires, politicians, or a bio-engineered disease.

via What Do You Look for in a Humorous Villain? | Legends of Windemere.

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Beginning of a Hero (Legends of Windemere)

Welcome to a new friend| heretherebespiders

heretherebespiders

blowing through the cobwebs of my mind

Right, why does this feel like I’m writing a personals ad? “I like long walks, and cuddling in front of the fire…” Feic no I don’t.

I promise to bitch, complain, grouse, gripe, whinge, and whine (apparently, not so much) on this blog. I promise to talk utter nonsense at times. I also promise to use words that some people find offensive. This IS the way I talk and think: I actually use ‘bad’ words a lot less here than I do vocally. I promise to attempt to be funny. I promise to talk about my pets as if they are kids. I promise to give out TMI on occasion. I promise to drink and blog. I’ll try to make note of the weird-ass things my husband says. He ain’t right.

I might talk about controversial subjects. Opinions & comments are welcome; assholeishment and trolling are not. I wear UK 7.5 New Rock boots and I will kick ye to the curb with them.

I’m an expatriate American living in Ireland. I’ve oodles of interests: some of them are art, cooking, gardening, politics, writing (well, duh) and driving my Harley. And, of course, my furry family.

via Anticipation | heretherebespiders.

Watering it all down a bit

 I’ve been trying out watercolours for the first time since my age was measured in single digits. I didn’t like it then, as I’m too much of a perfectionist and it annoyed me that watercolour paint didn’t stay where I put it.

But life itself is much more fluid these days. I thought perhaps I’d let loose of some of my control-freak nature and just see what happened.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to share my work or not. Again, letting go of the control freak, I decided what the hell. But I still have to give an advance apology/explanation for my efforts. 1. I have NO training on how to paint with watercolours. 2. I’ve not tried to do this in over 30 years. 3. My brain isn’t working quite right.

So. I meant to find hubby’s pastels and play around, because I had some good clean cardboard I didn’t mind wasting. Instead I found his watercolour paints, from… high school era. Black, white, green, red, blue yellow. Not a lot to work with! Also the only proper watercolour paper I have was gifted to my by Socks, and is post-card sized. So I sat down and looked at what she’d sent me. Paintbrushes that hold water in the barrel. Big black pencils that, mysteriously (to me) said watercolour on their sides. Hmm. So I did a quick sketch of the first thing that came into my head, in black, and then filled it in with paint. Here’s the result.

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The eye is terrible – but that’s the first thing I drew and the rest didn’t quite follow along those Disney lines. Ah well.

So, next was to find something else to paint. I wanted to do the bell from my local church. While thinking it over, I realised something. I’ve had a small set of expensive Derwent coloured pencils since I was a teen. I recalled that the tin they live in says ‘watercolour’ on it. Holy shit, I’ve had a good set of watercolour pencils for decades and didn’t know what they were for.

So I drew the bell. The perspective is all wrong. I know. I refuse to care.

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I thought about it for days before I finally got the nerve up to wet it down.

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I actually made the perspective worse! But I learned a lot and it was fast and, dare I say, fun. I’ve another project in mind, way above my skill, but screw it, you have to start somewhere.

Greenery and perhaps a Giggle

Hi, howrya? Please read that in the Mayo accent in which I would say it. I must apologise to all the bloggers I follow: I can’t seem to be able to comprehend very much, my concentration is terrible, and my sense of humour has nearly deserted me (when is the last time I tagged something as humour/humor? It’s been yonks). I do read everyone’s blog, but I can’t seem to summon up much in the way of a response. Sorry, I hate being like this.

What seems to be working for me is visuals. So! More photos. I did a walk through town last time. I’ve taken more shots in town, but I think we’ll go back to purdy flors again. Please read that in the NW Florida/southern Alabama accent in which I would say it.

First photo is a crappy iPad one. But, it is my mystery plant, and the mystery is now solved! First I have to give a shout out to the fabulous website, Shoot, and its plant finder. It didn’t take much time at all to get to the eureka moment and find the answer to what I’ve been wondering for weeks.

20130621-202113.jpg Please meet my Mimulus! There are about 150 species and I didn’t have the patience to figure out which one I have. Or is that which ones, as there are three different colour blooms? Common name is ‘monkey flower,’ but I have no idea why.

The rest of my pics are taken on the new fancy-pants camera. Did I mention that it requires you to look through the viewfinder? And actually turn the lens to focus? It has a lovely big screen, like a digital cam should, but since I have to put my eye up to the little hole, the screen is always smeared with nose grease. That’s when my schnozzola isn’t pressing the menu button and changing the settings. Oh! Here’s a picture of the camera itself. I took it for a walk a few weeks ago. No pictures, because the battery, unknown to me, was dead. So I took a pic with my iPhone of the heavy-ass camera I took for a walk, in a bag on my shoulder, like an expensive pampered chihuahua. I thought I should take a pic of it just to memorialise the first time I took it out, since it didn’t bloody well work and I had no other way to record the day’s events. Yes, I stuck it on a stone wall in a cow field. Damn thing.

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Okay NOW the rest of the pics are by the pretty Nikon.

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CLICK HERE FOR TONS MORE GREAT PHOTOS

Strollin’ through the town today

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Yesterday morn I took the dogeen for a walk, and I saw a lot of things that made me think about where I live as seen through a stranger’s eyes. It was a positive experience – but as walking the dog isn’t conducive to taking photos, I didn’t break out the iPhone.

So this morning, I took a walk without her – but I didn’t get to see all the same things as my walk was shorter. Sorry!

One of the very first places I come to is the church. They are painting it. Yesterday was what they could reach with a long roller, but today the heavy machinery was involved.

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After the church I hit the main drag. The sun was playing peek-a-boo.

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It looks so colourful like this. It’s a terrible shame that at least 1/3 of the buildings you see are empty. Some for the entire 8 years I’ve lived here, and longer.

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An example – a business that has come and gone again since I’ve lived here. They sold ink. The pile of unread post inside the door is astounding, and that terrible white-wash window covering didn’t last even a few months.

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More photos here

sweetheart rewrite COMBINE

On The Road (Time Cut: 1969 to 2013)

Write With Warnimont — Forget Money. Write For Fun. Write To Inspire. Write To Change The World.

Instant Stress Relief For Writers: Feel Happier With One Quick Change

Posted on May 14, 2013 Written by Joe Warnimont 17 Comments

stress relief - laughter

Photo Credit: David Castillo Dominici / freedigitalphotos.net

Laughter is the best stress reliever.

But how can someone initiate laughter? And how can you keep the stem of this laughter from turning into procrastination?

I often think that I am doing myself a favor by simply watching a sitcom and laughing.

After all, laughing releases endorphins to make you feel better, it acts as an exercise to strengthen your core muscles and reduces stress.

The problem with me watching sitcoms?

They are 30 minutes long, the first one tends to lead to another and I just sit in a chair by myself the entire time.

It does take some effort or activity to laugh at something, so what are some other things that can make you laugh?

A funny joke from a friend

A funny situation at work, school or wherever you are

A comedy club, stand-up comedian or funny movie

All of these are great, but once again they take effort, time and some even cost money.

via Write With Warnimont — Forget Money. Write For Fun. Write To Inspire. Write To Change The World..

Welcome to a new friend: JamieB2013 | “It is as it is”

“It is as it is” – what’s it all about?

“It is as it is” is a collection of rambles from a near 40 yr old.

There is some / a lot of poetry in here too.

Some make sense, some don’t.

Some reveal a lot about me, some reveal nothing at all.

Don’t take it at face value, read between the lines.

Read this with your soul and ignore the warning signs.

Most of the time, the linked songs are pivitol to what is written – but only most of the time.

So if you read post and the youtube link is not working, please drop me a line:

jamieblog2013@hotmail.co.uk

So tell me when, you’re gonna let me in…”

Some things in life just happen…
Sometimes your eyes can’t see…
Sometimes there is no reason…
Some things are meant to be…

Sometimes the Sun shines brightly…
Some days it’s a cloud…
Somewhere there’s a rainbow…
Sometimes people are so damn proud…

Sometimes we’ve best intentions…
Some days our minds are Black…
Somewhere it went missing…
Some day we’ll get it back…

Sometimes we’ve just forgotten…
Some people won’t forgive…
Somewhere there’s an answer…
Some things aren’t ours to give…

Some people go on living…
Some days we live to die…
Sometimes its deep depression…
Sometimes Eye… Fly… High…

Some people just don’t get it…
Some believe only what they hear…
Some understand the bigger picture…
Some begin to fight their fear…

Some days we play the victim…
Somehow we just don’t exist…
Some people are so stunning…
Someone yearns just to be kissed…

Some thoughts should be forgotten…
Sometimes we’re led astray…
Some words never can be spoken…
Some things just locked away…

Someone’s always watching…
Sometimes we still deceive…
Some say that there’s an ending…
Somehow we still believe…

Someday we will understand…
Some claim our eyes will see…
Some thoughts we will remember…
Someday the Dove will set us free…

Todays music comes from Keane – not a band I overly love, but they have the odd song that does it for me – this one especially. “Somewhere only we know” is one of those that is so open to interpretation – I find it interesting that different things can be read into lyrics and poems. Like the above, they are just words. However they can be read in so many ways and they carry so much – or so little. I sometimes wonder if that is due to the intent of the writer, or the desire of the reader.

Enjoy.

via JamieB2013 |

“I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life…”

There’s a man at the door…
Wants to buy your soul…
Says it’s worth double…
As it’s got a Blackhole…

Got a big Blackhole…
Deep down inside…
Been getting bigger…
Each time you lied…

Every time you lied…
The man here knew…
Made him smile…
As the Blackhole grew…

The Blackhole grew bigger…
And swallowed up your heart…
Covered up the truth…
Shot out a poison dart…

That poison dart…
Hit the one you love…
She took flight…
Like an escaping Dove…

That escaping Dove…
Has broke your soul…
All that’s left…
Is a big Blackhole…

It’s that Blackhole…
That this man wants…
Killing time in the shadows…
As her memory haunts…

And that memory haunts…
Stalks your hurting head…
You made the choices…
Now you wish you were dead…

You wish you were dead…
Because the living is hell…
Now the time has come…
And your ready to sell…

Yes you’re ready to sell…
Detach that big Blackhole…
So just close your eyes…
And hand the Devil your soul…

So, yeah. When putting together my CV, I had lots of constructive advice. Format, content, layout. What you should add in, what you shouldn’t add in. Even secret ways of getting in key words that may fox the online systems when applying for jobs.

One of the most important aspects, I was assured, was how you put together the personal and hobbies part of the CV. Make or break it seemed!. Too much information and the prospective employers may think twice. Not enough detail and they may think you are not interesting enough.

I went with the bullet point advice and even that was hard work . What should I add in that makes me look creative, but not a geek!  I ended up mentioning that I write poems. It was a throw away comment and I thought little of it.

Amazingly, this point was picked up in all but one of my interviews. That’s positive you may think and I guess it is. However, it left me open to the “What do you write about” questions and the inevitable “Can we read”?  That is the downside of this, as yes, I write poetry, but its not happy and light.

Its not something that Pam Ayres would read on BBC radio. Its quite shit really and its dark shit too.  I get inspired by little things, a throw away line on a TV show, or something that someone said earlier in the day. From small acorns grow the rest of the words, sentences, paragraphs.

Some make sense, some don’t, Some reveal a lot about me, some reveal nothing at all, but read cold – as on a previous blog post, they could be interpreted  in ways I don’t want. Therefore, I have never had the confidence to put them up or show them to anyone.

However, now I have a new blog home, I am going to risk it as I am sure no-one is reading and if you are, its by chance.  Therefore, the instant judgement is removed!

Anyway, first up is Blackhole (Above) – It was written in 2011, inspired by someone telling me that I had a Blackhole where my heart should be after a throw away comment / attempt at comedy genius. Over time, more will follow, without the commentary.

As for songs to accompany todays blog. Well it could be about writing or poetry, but you know what, this song came n my ipod today and I think its worth putting up. Pearl Jam – Black. Amazing poetry in the lyrics – I can only dream of writing like this.

Enjoy

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Girl Story – Chapter Seven – Girl Meets Boy | Trista DiGiuseppi

Chp 7: Girl Meets Boy

Strange Candor opened after twenty minutes. Cat was lazy and took his time. Girl realized that ten minutes was a flat-out lie. Glaring at Girl as she walked into the shop, she ignored the fat Cat, stepping over him, moving deeper amidst the merchandise. All around were shelves lined with instruments – some more familiar than others. The more exotic the instrument, the higher it was placed on the shelf. Some were stored so high that Girl could not even see them.

“Don’t touch anything,” hissed Cat. And on that note, he climbed up a carpeted kitty tower placed in the corner of the shop. When Cat reached the top of the tower, he flopped. Then he stared out a nearby window, chittering at pigeons as they moved through the dark.

“Bullshit!” yelled a voice from the back of the shop. Startled, Girl jumped.

Girl said to herself, “Who is that?”

More at  Girl Story – Chapter Seven – Girl Meets Boy | Trista DiGiuseppi.

 

Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

 

Give Me My Check Now | Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby

This experience has been highly objectionable and I want it to end as soon as possible. I’ve watched this waitress saunter about the restaurant,

Toots Schultz

Toots Schultz (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

feigning laughter and genuine interest in customers’ stories while permitting that smallest of small talk to gush out of her dolled-up face socket. Yes, Toots, that’s right, your overly-projected conversation about it raining two days in aEnglish: Logo of Universal Church Triumphant o...

row is not fascinating to anyone. It’s odd to make a point of something being unremarkable, but that quip was not conversation-worthy in the slightest. You’ve exhibited a blatantly offensive lack of self-awareness when you didn’t even hesitate before launching into that monotonous monologue. Initially, I thought it might be an isolated incident, but not three minutes later you started in on a tirade about your mild dislike of lentils. Honestly, everyone’s life’s too short to listen to that. 

Release me from this tediously droning waking terror and bring me my check. I know I don’t like you, but you can be my angel and set me free.

via Give Me My Check Now | Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby.

A new day… | HarsH ReaLiTy

A new day…

May 22, 2013 by Opinionated Man

I spent the day away and it was great. Vacation is nice and Destin Harbor was fun, touristy, but fun. I had never been there.

I meant to close comments on the last post. I love that anyone reblogs me and it was not addressed to 99% of you. The post was addressed to people that are intentionally reblogging AND then deleting the post to try and trick my followers into clicking the link and visiting their site. Does not take too much imagination to figure that out and my site is linked to about 20 times a day. I don’t imagine at all that my words are protected no matter how many copyright symbols I place. That is NOT the point. The point is that I have spent god knows how many hours finding all of you and sifting sand to find gold. You all may not realize this, but many authors and journalist would kill for active commenters. That is why you all make this site what it is. That is also why I not only appreciate you all, but I get angry (oh no) when some idiot emails me asking “hey can you mention my blog or send your followers my way?” There is only so many times I can respond diplomatically before I snap… I believe I have mentioned my temper. So I guess be happy… people want you guys [insert grin].

I do not care if you reblog and as long as it says from HarsH ReaLiTy, which the reblog automatically does, I am FINE with it. I do give back as well by doing reblog weekends, but that is not an obligation and it is actually work as well.

Anyways, this topic is done to me. Everyone that commented I can tell you your reblogs were fine. And for the one comment that mentioned that this is a take and steal world, I say that is sad if you really view the world that way.

Give me a bit to respond,

-Opinionated Man

via A new day… | HarsH ReaLiTy.

Who really needs saving? | charlottecarrendar

Who really needs saving?

 

More at  Who really needs saving? | charlottecarrendar.

No Crying in The Club | Break Room Stories

No Crying in The Club

Posted: May 12, 2013 in Drunk, Stories

bartender

bartender (Photo credit: macwagen)

Guy was talking to his ex-girlfriend at the bar. He was crying, whining and begging for her to take him back. Loudly. From what I could tell, he didn’t cheat on her or anything, she just dumped him

She tells him, to his face, that maybe some day she will get back together with him, but she wants to be free and is probably going to have sex another guy that night, and points to a guy in a group she came with.

The guy starts crying, and saying “please don’t go home with that guy”, etc. The guy is literally begging.

She goes over to the guy she is going to fuck, and walks out with him while her ex boyfriend watches.

The dude just burst into tears. I felt so bad I did two shots with him and called him a cab.

-Jameson

The Rest of the Story is at  No Crying in The Club | Break Room Stories.

Just popped me out of her womb and put up with me for 20 years…no big deal… | Hollis Plample

Just popped me out of her womb and put up with me for 20 years…no big deal…

Just popped me out of her womb and put up with me for 20 years...no big deal...

All jokes aside, congratulations to all them mums out there today!

via Just popped me out of her womb and put up with me for 20 years…no big deal… | Hollis Plample.

Welcome to a new friend: DGAF (and we don’t either)

DGAF

Sounds way better than Cheese and Crackers.

About

The official blog for Radikal Nation and honestly….we don’t give a fuck.

facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Rnwdgaf

bandcamp: http://rnwdgaf.bandcamp.com/

via About | DGAF.

Steve the deep sea diver (ideas for a webcomic)

“Steve the deep sea diver and his trusty space whale travel and explore the unknown down below. The fearless diver descends down to the ocean floor and what he finds is something out of this world.Covered in rust, weird looking ocean plants, and sand, A chest that wasn’t meant to be seen by human eyes was accidentally found by the curious diver and with a pick of the lock, the chest opened with ease….”

I’ve been thinking of ideas for a web comic and something that dealt with exploring the unknown just felt right to do. Ive worked on making storyboards for my story ideas but never actually done anything like this before. Although I have worked with making characters and going into deeper detail about their personalities and traits this hopefully can be something I can have a lot of fun with and hopefully something you guys can enjoy too. Heres some sketch ideas that came about from talking with my friend “PONS” he’s a pretty cool dude go check out his page >> https://www.facebook.com/PonsArtIsTooUnderground <<steve the deep sea diver IMG_1076

Continue reading →

The Talking Stick | HarsH ReaLiTy

 

The Talking Stick

May 11, 2013 by Opinionated Man

I love that I don’t have to wait on other people to talk on my blog. This isn’t a conversation; this is me talking to the wind. Did you ever play those games in school where

Kwakwaka'wakw tribesman with a talking stick.

Kwakwaka’wakw tribesman with a talking stick. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

you had to wait your turn to talk and perhaps you even had an object to dictate whose turn it was? I hate that shit. I could never conform and would always get called out for talking or remarking on someone’s comment. The spoken word is meant to be criticized. The written word CAN be criticized if you want it to be, but the awesome part of a blog is it can also be private as well. Now obviously I don’t write privately here because I have nothing to hide, for the most part. My opinions and tone would not change if we met in person, in fact it would probably put you off. My surely self does that to people. Send me an email and ask me if I care…

We thought we left rules and regulations in grade school and high school right? In college, professors inspired us by saying “the world is YOURS and the world wants to hear you!” In reality the world could give a shit less about us, but individuals can still inspire and relate to us. I don’t turn to the “world” for inspiration, I turn to faces. Real faces, real people, fuck the background noise, to me it will always be just noise.

So this talking stick I hold. I won’t give it up on this blog, sorry it is mine. It isn’t even a stick actually… it is a chop stick I didn’t want to hurt a tree! Say something bad about chop sticks!

Note: And with this silly post I am off for the weekend. And guess who gets 3 day weekends now? Sleep… she and I are going to get reacquainted. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there and to the rest of you, have a safe weekend.

-Opinionated Man {mor}

via The Talking Stick | HarsH ReaLiTy.

Welcome to a new friend: – Hollis Plample

About

In between training to be an opera singer, tinkering on sundry instruments, tap dancing in her kitchen, and conversing with her cat, Hollis Plample draws comics. Inspired by a lot of public eavesdropping and pilfering from the quirks of friends and enemies, the comics of Hollis Plample are a mixture of delight and derision. Hollis hopes you enjoy her comics, but if you don’t, it’s entirely up to you. She’ll keep writing them anyway.

JOIN THE FUN AND FOLLOW HOLLIS ON FACEBOOK! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hollis-Plample/472290689486315#

via About | Hollis Plample.

Welcome to a new friend: The Procrastitorian

A is for

Amuseless:

adj 1. bored with the state of everyday life, lacking something truely enjoyable

and having to pull the absurd and inane forwards from what we’re given.

Amuseless is a word with countless meanings all depending upon how you look at the word. For this blog, however, it takes the form of a noun meaning ” a place where people, who probably have better things to do, go to waste their time”. Amuseless is just a place for me to post my observations, often focusing on the inane and absurd little things in life, and for other people to (hopefully) get a chuckle out of them. Okay, so I’ll settle for a smile… A smirk then? Common! Work with me, people!

Anywho, you can expect a post from me every day except for Thursday and Sunday, when I decide to take a break and scout across WordPress for other awesome bloggers to follow! Mostly, my posts consist of poetry, a few articles and, on Wednesday, an small excerpts from stories I am currently working on.

If you’re interested in placing any of my work on another site, be sure to let me know! I do love to gloat 😉

via About | A is for.

Shooting Sparrows

Shooting Sparrows

Shooting Sparrows

You’re spittin’ in the wind, kid,
Living like that, life ain’t never gonna change,
it’s a summary of what we did
and the strength that we’ve maintained.

There’s a limited supply of life so
Pick your battles carefully,
learn when to fight and when it’s
best to just go ahead and  fold.

Master the art of bowing out gracefully,
finding out what matters and,
occasionally, remembering what you’ve
been told, or all you’ll do is, in the end,
wind up shooting sparrows and
regretting that you’ve grown old.

________________________

Advice from an old-timer, right there. Well, not really. I’m not really sure if I saw it somewhere or just plucked it out of my head, but the term ‘shooting sparrows’ has been one I use to describe doing meaningless things, or putting your effort behind something pointless. Sure, you can keep on doing it, but its such a common thing that it’s no real prize and its rather meaningless in the end.

Start I’d kick off the week with this lil’ thing to get it going as I get back to my posting schedule now that I am nearly done with settling into a new job and getting my last semester at the college underway. It’s been  a tiring  bumping road but I just had to figure out where to focus and now I might actually be getting back to things alright! Here’s to hoping that the rest of your week is awesome, and that your boss is out sick for the week!

via About | A is for.

Welcome to a new friend: Break Room Stories

Break Room Stories (BRS) bringing you waiter stories and more since 2012. More specifically our site is a waiter blog intended to give anyone in the food service industry the opportunity to share the most ridiculous story you have. Funny, gross, horrible, embarrassing it’s all fair game. We post stories about everything from the most intense waiter rants and bartender pet peeves to a 29little staff on staff action and host nightmares. The more unique, hilarious, shocking, or ridiculous the better.

BRS was founded by a notorious group of individuals who have worked or currently work in the food service industry. We all come from various walks of life but the one thing we have in common (besides putting up with the bullshit of being in the service industry) was the tendency to get a little chatty in the Break Room of our respective establishments. If it happened to one of us we all heard about it. It was after years of abuse and story after story that we decided to get the rest of the serving community together to see what trouble other servers were getting themselves into.

So what happens when you combine the general public, their food, and give them the opportunity to exploit the people who serve them? You get the restaurant service industry. We mean you waitresses, waiters or servers, bartenders, bar backs, hosts, bussers, cooks, managers or anyone else that puts up with so much grief for that paycheck.

We reserve the right to post portions of your story without duplicating the entire thing. It’s not because the entire thing isn’t funny, but the funniest stories are those we can all relate to.

Our goal was and is to create a site that was revealing in nature while concealing the identity of everyone involved. This is why we will only post your first name to accompany your Break Room Story. We don’t want anyone to get fired because they are venting on our site.

We don’t want stories that are offensive to the point of being viciously personal, racist, exceedingly profane, violent or excessively graphic in nature. It’s a very hard thing to judge, but we’ll do our best.

But that’s not all! We also bring you a variety of media that you can check up on to make your shift (or entire life) better. Random picture galleries, random videos, funny videos and other little nuggets to help you smile : )

For more, check out our Terms of Service for full details of our legal policy. In short, please recognize that BRS, our advertisers and anyone who promotes with us is doing so purely for entertainment purposes. In other words, we’re not your parents, your employer, or your probation officer.

Welcome to Break Room Stories, enjoy!

via About | Break Room Stories.

 

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