Ah, Unbounce. A fresh faced tech company being dominated by a bunch of extroverts. Sounds like the worst case scenario for every introvert I know. Unbounce is located in Gastown, Vancouver in a lovely building, with many lovely people. The downside? They have an Operations Manager that is the epitome of Mean Girls, not too mention a few tomatoes short of a salad. Enter: COO, who is great by the way, easy going, up front, politically correct with a great sense of humor, and overall- the professional ideal for the young startups trying to attract top talent. WTG. On the other note, the Manager has Lion King on her desktop, not as in “I’m a fan of Lion King”, more as in, -let me flash you my Macbook mid interview to show you how cute Simba is, giggle giggle- wait, aren’t you like 45? WTF? This doesn’t make you young, it makes you stupid. But whatever, I’m a nice person, I have a lot of fucks to give, and therefore will indulge said manager…. Cut to: Interview Room. The OM plays cool for most of the interview, that is until the COO has to excuse himself for another meeting he is about to run late for. I shake his hand, we go our own ways. I’m left with the OM, who quite literally turned into a vicious cat monster. She starts telling me how she is the “Angel of the Office” “Everybody loves me” and I kid you not, she rants about her looks, her intellect, her education, her position, how important she is, how much everyone loves her, how she is always rescuing the CEO and the COO, what would they do without her? Her position as a saint in the office cannot be matched, and this is why she thinks there is not a place for me there. Not to mention, she goes on about her people, she’s Iranian and thinks she’s the only coloured person in the interview because I am visibly white- she never asked me if I was part Arab (which I am), and believe me, I don’t take shit from my own people. HAHA, seriously? You’re going all Mean Girls on me because you have a vanity and self confidence complex? Oh please, knock yourself out. Because when your superiors actually find out how you’ve been undermining them to candidates and have been running down the young people in the company behind their backs, I don’t want to be there when that ship sinks. Oh boy. But wait, I’m a young person, right? There is Karma, right? Well, I think it is my social and ethical responsibility to ensure that Karma comes back, just the way a young, inept person would do it. Therefore: Sholeh Atash consider yourself tagged as the most selfish, immature, self-destructive individual who looks down on introverts and successful people. #SholehAtashStupid . I hereby sign this post from the HR gal and Karma herself. You’ve been made. Unbounce, do me a favor, hire great people for this position first, and forgo the rest till you get the problems figured out. Hire an HR firm to do some work for you so you have an outside opinion.
Update: Unbounce has decided not to continue with the HR hiring…….? Hmmmmm I wonder why the position fell through……. Instead they are hiring Sholeh an assistant. I guess it is kind of hard for her to nail herself to a cross every week, you need help for those things.